Category: Daily Living
Well, the topic title says it all mostly. What do yall do if your family or friends go to buffets? I love going, accept for the fact I have to have someone help me, an because of that I try to avoid them at all costs. I'm not saying getting help is a bad thing, it's just a bit awkward to have someone tell me what's there? What do yall do as a blind or partially blind who maybe can't see the food that's there?
Some tasks are impossible without help, but in this instance, I'd suggest trying to get a menu for the place ahead of time. I understand it feels awkward but it's something you have to get used to.
I have never minded getting help at buffets, whether it be a buffet-style restaurant or a buffet set up at a party or banquet. I just simply don't let it bother me. I usually am with a friend or family member who knows the kinds of things I like and don't like, so they pretty much skip over the items they know I won't want. Sometimes we just have to adjust our mindset and stop being embarrassed by things like this.
I enjoy buffets as well, and I won't skip a buffet setting just because I can't, or shouldn't, try to serve myself at one. Those who say we as blind people need help in some cases are correct. There's nothing to be embarrassed about when you recognize you need help and then seek to get it. It's way more embarrassing to try to bumble through a buffet line on your own, discerning what's available by touching everything and making a mess of it all, grossing everyone else out while you're at it than it is to gracefully appear with a sighted guide at the buffet table, ask the trusted friend to describe what's available and then allow the trusted friend to serve what you want onto your plate. By all means, go ahead and carry the plate of goodies back to your table on your own if you can; You should try to do that, in case your sighted friend wants to load up their own plate as well, but that's much more socially appropriate, less embarrassing and efficient for everyone. Staying away from buffet settings is also a bit socially awkward; Your friends and family might wonder why you aren't interested in going out for a nice buffet lunch or attending a wedding where the food is served buffet style. Why refrain from something you would otherwise enjoy just because you can't manage it entirely on your own. No one will fault you for asking for help if you need it; It's natural and acceptable to do so. On the other hand, you're likely to be the talk of the party and risk getting disgusted glances and statements made to or about you if you try to adapt the "I can do it all by myself" attitude. If we could always rely only on ourselves all the time, we'd all be perfectly fine being loners, and there would be no need for organized society.
I have people get my food for me and I tell them what I want. I go through the line with them, I don't like for them to come back and tell me what is up there while I am staying att a table the whole time.
I like to get a bite of a lot of different things instead of a whole scoop of one or two things. So I would have more to ask for...
I am in Raleigh now and a few places I have gone to have those touch screen soft drink machines now. I am not sure how they work other than a blind person can't get a drink themselves. I usually wouldn't mind but in some cases, i do like to be able to get my own drink sometimes. I hope they get them to talking soon.
that and the debit card swiper things, I have to have help no matter if there are buttons or not because someone has to hit yes or no cash back so on so on...
To bad they don't make them like talking ATM's.
Whatexacty is so embarrassing about askig for help? I mean, the most that will happen is that the other diners realize you're blind, and I'm pretty sure the cane or the og would give that awy. So are you embarrassed to use a cae or dog? If yes, then the fact that your facial expressions dont always match, or you might stare at something a bit longer than usual, or that you might not be able to cut your food asdelicately as a sighted person may all give away your blindness. So, do you just not go to any restaurant ever because you're afraid they'll realize you're blind? Then if you do that you may still need help at grocery stores, and in schools, and in government buildings, and in sopping malls, movie theaters, and anywhere else you might go. Even i you don't need help in these places, you still need the cane or the dog, and you still have little things that will give you away as a blind person. So you'll never leve your house again, right? I mean, who wants to be embarrassed by people realizing you're blind? Then that begs the question of what you do when your friends come over to your house. Oh gd, now they realize your blind, so you never have friends come over. Great life embarrassment leads to, wouldn't you say?
There you go, a perfect example of an ad absurdium argument.
I agree with what has been said here. really, what's to be embarrassed about? wouldn't you rather go to a buffet to enjoy the food and spend time with those important to you, than feel shitty cause you didn't go, and remain the talk of the town, so to speak, for possibly years to come? I know I would.
I am interested what exactly you have the problem with? Maybe if you stay why it be easier to give you some advice on it?
If it is needing help to get your food, well, in any other setting you order and the wait staff brings it to you anyway, so it is not much different?
Post your reasons, I'd love to know?
i agree with what others have said here already. if I'm with someone, I accompany them through the line. they tell me what's there and if it's something I want, I allow him or her to put it on my plate which I am carrying.
normally, I prefer to go to places that don't have buffets simply because if I'm going out to eat, I want someone to bring me my food. lol Perhaps though that's because I'm a mom and serve the hubs and kiddo all the time. lol
One time the hubs and I went to this awesome place called texas de brazil for our anniversary. It is an upscale place so in addition to the main courses, they have this 40 foot salid bar thingy. Normally, I'd skip that but it had gourmet stuff like Lobster Bisque, crab legs, jalapeno grits, so on and so forth. I was not going to be denied. lol Because both the hubs and I are blind, and were going alone, I called ahead to let them know we were coming to confirm that a server could help us through the salid bar. It worked out great. They were more than happy to assist us.
I was much more self conscious about asking for help with stuff like that when I was younger. I've learned one thing about being ridiculously independent all my life. Sometimes being the most independent means knowing when to ask for help. I've missed out on a whole lot less in life that way.
If people are embarrassed by helping you because of your blindness, then you need to find different people with whom to surround yourself. This sounds harsh but it's coming from someone who's own father is embarrassed by anything related to my blindness.
besides, nobody's staring at the blind guy at buffets these days; instead, they're staring at the fat guy carrying 3 plates in one hand.
Now, go eat something good.
There's a difference between being afraid, and being aware. Another thing I have noticed people are afraid of is crossing streets and traveling, because they're afraid of being hit by a car. Well, that can happen to anyone, blind or sighted. Though someone who can see may be able to run away if they see the car coming, this doesn't always result in the person getting away in time. Instead of being afraid, it's better to be mindful that things can happen, and you should have caution when doing certain things. Cars can hit you. Stoves can burn you. Glasses can spill and break. But, is that a reason to live your life in fear? Absolutely not.
domestic goddess brought up a great point that I agree with wholeheartedly. true independence, is knowing when there's a genuine need for asking for help, rather than trying to do things yourself that you know you can't, which, in turn, does nothing but make you look idiotic.
i don't always like asking for help either but such as life. If going to buffets makes you that uncomfortable then just don't go. I'm not a huge fan of them myself.
It depends. If I'm on a business trip I skip the hotel buffets and go somewhere else. It always takes longer if you have to ask for help, so it just depends. But yeah, being embarrassed about that is okay if you're under 16 but if you're 18 and up, you're gettin a bit big for that stuff.
That being said, I totally get not wanting to inconvenience people, and I do seaparate the two things. But I'll not play martyr either I'll just go do something else in that instance if it really would be a bother.
nope I don't mind them for that reason I do mind them though for a totally unrelated reason anyone has this issue? you go with four people all of them are asking you to eat all fifty million things. but not only that remember buffets are expensive and pricy and someone is usually paying for me like family or friend of the family and it's like oh god it's blah blah blah amount for one person oh god I haven't eaten enough and I tend to overstuff myself over embarrassment of wasting their money and it's like at the end oh god I can't eat anymore, but I've just wasted some money.
I really don't think $6 or $8 is killing anyone. I doubt they are asking you to eat many things because of money, but because they want you to have a good time and enjoy the feast. You do eat something, and that is why you came.
Over eating because you don't want to waste $8 is like eating all your food in your house because you have it.
If you think about it after the first serving you've actually gotten $6 or $8 worth of food already. The extra makes it a good deal for people that enjoy eating.
Relax. Smile.
Then don't stuff yourself? I agree with what Wayne has said
Yeah, me too. I've never understood the mentality of people who go to buffets and stuff themselves just because the food is there. The concept of reasonable portions still applies. I don't usually go to buffets myself, because you just don't know how long that food has been sitting out, or if someone touched the food, especially as a blind person. now, granted, I would expect the sighted person who's telling me what's there to say, "that doesn't look so hot, you better not take it." But people's standards of quality vary. Luckily, my family are borderline germophobes, at least my mom and sister are, and I would place myself in that category as well. Of course, you can still get food poisoning from any restaurant, it happened to me once, and you can get hair in your food, yep, also happened to me, and I even got a piece of plastic in an Egg McMuffin before. So I'm usually cautious of just where I go out to eat in the first place, and buffets add an extra level to that.
Speaking of gross things happening to food, I knew someone growing up who opened up a Reeses Peanut Butter cups from a vending machine, only to find a dead baby mouse inside the cup.
Talk about crunchy peanut butter!
I agree wholeheartedly with what Wayne said. there's really no need to gorge yourself. also, I don't believe people would offer to buy you something, spend time with you, ETC, if they truly didn't want to.
If someone was to tell me to eat as much as I possibly could, or they wouldn't pay for it, then I'd tell them to screw themselves and I'd pay for my own damn food.
I have to ask, how in the world did a baby mouse fit into a peanut butter cup? I mean, that must have been one very very tiny mouse, there's not a lot of space in those things.
Yes, though mice are capable of squeezing themselves in very tight areas. I know this because I had an aunt who bred mice that she either gave away to the pet store or fed to her snake. Thankfully, I never saw her do the latter.
Personally, I'd be more worry by looking like a pig by stuffing myself then asking for help in choosing what I'm going to eat in any given social setting. - Just saying...!
I don't know, this was 30 years ago, and they at least used to have the large peanut butter cups not just the bite size ones you hand out at Halloween to the neighborhood kids.
They do still make half-pound ones, but I doubt that's what you would get out of a vending machine. Still, a whole family of mice could probably fit in one of the giant ones. Disgusting, but true. You know, this discussion reminds me of the book The Mouse and the Motorcycle. Am I the only person who thinks it's totally disgusting that a mouse carried a Tylenol through the wall of a hotel, which is a dirty enough area, then brought it to the little boy, who thought nothing of taking it from a possibly disease-ridden mouse after it had been dragging it through said walls, and calmly popped it into his mouth? Come on, he wasn't delirious, he obviously had a common enough childhood illness if a simple Tylenol brought down his fever enough that he was practically as good as new the next day.
Love buffets. Asking for help doesn't bother me.
ha, sorry, I see that I should've worded this a bit differently, maybe I don't avoid them at all costs, and it's not that I'm scared of really embaressment. it's more like, I really hate to inconvinience people and therefore I was wondering what yall do in the case of buffets. haha, this thread has helped alot, thanks.
and, Domestic Goddess, I absolutley lovelovelovelove texas de brazel!!!! I'm actually probably going in a few weeks.
This is going to sound harsh, but get used to inconveniencing people. There's nothing you can do about it , and most of the people don't see it as an inconvenience anyway. Most people are happy to help you out if you're polite and sociable.
That being said, there are things you can do to make it more pleasant for them. Talk to them, for one. Don't be the kind of blind person who just accepts help, says thank you, then goes on about their life. Engage the people who are helping you. Ask them about something you're interested in. If its your family, ask them about something going on in your life.Ask them what food they'd suggest you try that you might not have had before. Just talk to them, then they'll see you as just someone they're walking with, not someone they're helping.
I like that! Smile.
I find that kind of conversation is great for most things, when requesting help from people.
i love going to buffets, but it also depends with whom and in what ocation. I don't mind going out to buffets for lessure or social event, but perhaps not business trip or something. Found that, it is just harder to get help, and it also takes more nerves and stress than enjoyment. With social and casual dinning, you no need to worry too much. Generally you get helps either by your friends, family, or even the staff.
I think the key is don't afraid to ask for help, or say yes to assistant.
Buffets were all we had at work when it came to parties and going to restaurants for a doings. I had to learn to get sociable and my coworkers got it down to a science. They knew what not to get; I ate most anything except stuff with cream sauce. And, somehow, they could see if something looked tough or unappetizing. I guess it's like the one poster said, you need help in those settings, and you just accept it and be sociable. It's great to find those who love to eat because they get their joy out of looking at everything, describing it, helping you, and certainly helping themselves. I had 3 coworkers like that.
I've always found it easiest to get help at the dessert bar. lol
Yep! If they like to eat and go to these types of places you'll get pro help and they'll really enjoy feeding you and telling you about it too. Lol
I happen to be one of these people that can't get past the first serving, so I'm a money waster. I just can't eat like that at one sitting.
I love buffets and I've always gone to them since I can remember. I have never felt weird or embarrassed when a family member or friends goes with me to help me get food. They don't mind and neither do I.
I really enjoy buffets. They are really cool to do the dinner. - lunch setting.